Let’s be honest, when looking for a partner it seems next to impossible to find someone that feels like a perfect match.
Finding someone to spend your life with is kind of like baking a cake. A really big, complicated, impossible to eat cake whose recipe always changes right along with your taste and personality.
To be happy in a relationship with someone, so many ingredients have to fall into place like:
- Sense of humor
- Spiritual persuasion
- Life goals
I could probably go on for the next few hours and still not catch everything, but you get the point.
Ever since I was introduced to the magical, story book fairy tales of disney, I believed in the idea that love would lead someone to face any obstacle, and pay any price.
Despite my hopes and intentions of meeting a nice, sweet Christian girl, and despite being around churches all of my life, I can’t recall any Christian girls or women that I would have chosen as lifelong partners, let alone someone who felt like they were a fairy tale romance.
Call me shallow, but I never met anyone that was the right mix of personality and appearance that I was attracted to, and I never met anyone that I felt God was specifically instructing me to be with either.
So what was I supposed to do, not date?
I mean come on, I can’t just sit around and be single right?
Okay, so pretty much everyone has heard, and sometimes willingly ignored, the scripture that even non-Christians refer to on this subject:
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers
I have read this verse ever since I was young, and always just took it at face value.
However, I looked into the greek text and found this verse says something different than what I thought:
Here is an updated version based on the greek text:
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be yoked together with [those who do not trust in God]
When it comes to our relationship with God, one of the main things that we work towards is trusting Him, and letting go of our desire to control our lives according to our own will.
Based on this, it’s not hard to see why the main reason a relationship between a Christian and non-Christian would fail is because there is a completely different set of guidelines being followed when navigating life’s challenges.
In times of trouble, a Christian will seek God in prayer and, hopefully, find peace in the midst of turmoil. A non-Christian however, will not run to the same place of refuge, and will have a very different approach to dealing with a crisis.
There have been times when I have prayed and asked God for guidance during a situation and He has told me to do things that made no sense to me at the time, but they always turned out to be the right thing. Based on God’s guidance, I have extended myself to what looked like a financial breaking point, walked away from lucrative business deals, moved to an entirely different city, and made a variety of other life altering decisions.
There is no way in the world I could have done those things while in a relationship with someone who was not a Christian as it would be insanity to follow after someone’s “god” if they did not believe that they were real.
“Oh sure, I’ll quit my job, put my career on hold, and move with you to the middle of nowhere because God told you… yeah, I’ll get right on that.”
The choice would then be to either follow God’s call or live in a way that pleases the non-believing spouse.
This is a horrible set of choices to have to make over the course of a life time, and no matter how good that cake smells in the oven, it is guaranteed to fall flat.
All satire and introspection aside, it is important to note that God would love to give us an amazing relationship with someone who really loves Him, so why settle for someone who doesn’t?
No matter how good people try to be, it also makes sense to want to be with someone who is working to emulate God’s perfect love. They will make a good parent, spouse, and most importantly, they will make a very good friend.
And one thing that I have learned lately, is that we ourselves could be an amazing answer to someone else’s prayers for a God centered relationship!