Weird Human Behavior

Signs before a meltdown, and what to focus on afterwards

At times when I feel particularly low, unhappy, depressed, weak, lonely, afraid, scared, or whatever, I occasionally find that I am drawn to distractions or negative vices as a way of coping or escaping my feelings, thoughts, or emotions for a short time.

At times when I feel particularly low, unhappy, depressed, weak, lonely, afraid, scared, or whatever, I occasionally find that I am drawn to distractions or negative vices as a way of coping or escaping my feelings, thoughts, or emotions for a short time.

As I have continued my journey of self-improvement and grown closer to God, I have come to see that I do not gravitate towards these things as much as I had in the past, andI really need to be in a particularly low place to feel inclined to reach for them.

I have managed to stay away from certain vices for a long time, but, ocassionally, I find myself inclined.

The key to understanding, and avoiding, these potential lapses into old behavior is to be able to recognize when I am in a bad emotional or physical place.

Sometimes I find that I am depressed or really worn down and I don’t even know it, or maybe I am really anxious or worried about something but it is not consciously on my mind because I am so busy all the time.

I had a lapse today, something I am not proud of, but it humbled me by showing that I didn’t reach out to God for help when I was feeling the lowest.

The things I do when I lapse would hurt and disappoint those around me, and I feel awful that I repay a lifetime of God’s kindness with willing choices to deny his love in my actions.

I know God forgives, and I already feel that weight of sin lifted after I asked for forgiveness and sang a song to Him, but that is no excuse and it doesn’t make it okay.

After years of trying to love myself and those around me, I know that my relationship with myself and God is the one that I need to work out as that is the only one that will make every other relationship in my life better.

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  • I can certainly relate to your issues. I have this deep cement block that is hard to go away. I am having to face to be myself whatever that is and I have fallen short with GOD. Judgment is only Gods. BE loving in all the righ places and you will see the light.

  • I have been going to daily mass to get closer to God; I am not very disciplined when it comes to finding the quiet moments to be with God. My husband and I are going thru a financial crisis that I had a hand in creating. I had a vision at church that my grandpa and my dad put their arms around me as if to say “it’s going be ok.” I have moments where the negative self-talk and the dark, scary thoughts creep in. My husband checks in on me quite often, and I usually feel better. I am trying to embrace the “cast your cares upon the Lord” passage. Things will be on the upswing in a week or so. This is the one area of my life that is the most challenging, and where I have disappointed myself the most often. It is a work in progress. I have to believe that I can do better.

    • Thank you both for writing and for sharing. 1 Peter 5:7 is the scripture about casting all our anxiety on God because he cares for us. It is important to remember that the enemy’s greatest tool against us is our own shame. God wants us all to turn away from sin and be free from guilt, he doesn’t want us to live in shame for the things we have been forgiven for. It is a difficult thing sometimes to accept that God loves and forgives us beyond what we love and forgive of ourselves. Honesty with our friends, family, ourselves, and God is so important in overcoming the things that we struggle with. Let us make an agreement to cast our guilt and desire to sometimes be destructive on God the next time we are feeling down by saying “God I need help!” out loud and wait on Him for an answer. Your notes have given me a lot of encouragement today as I was feeling very low. So thank you again.

  • HI think you for sharing I know that there are a lot of people who are going to benefit from you sharing and that is a part of working these things out of your life .

    I know that there are a lot of times in my life that I fell away from having a relationship from the Lord.

    but always understand that the grace that he has for us is forever and he knows that we are not perfect and that we are going to make bad choices in are life’s. and feel down at times

    so understand that his love for you is forever and he is never going to leave you because his love for you was there before you were even born .

  • I found this site while looking for a place to journal my thoughts while going through trying times myself. The comments from everyone are right where I am at and the comments are very comforting. I know the one thing that God would like me to share is a quote I heard a couple of months ago. “An overcomer is someone who gets up one more time than they have been knocked down.” I have been trying to live by this in all areas. It is still very hard and at times I feel like the breath has been knocked out of me, but I know the one who breathed life into Adam is capable of breathing life into me.

  • Hi Janel. That is a great quote. Jesus promised heaven to those who overcome, and let’s not kid ourselves, overcoming can be tough sometimes. One of my favorite scriptures reminds me of how important it is to lean on God for strength other than ourselves or things in this world: Proverbs 24:10
    If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!

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