The job I currently have is outrageous
Like, beyond outrageous
Before I started working here, I never thought a job could be as messed up and crazy as the one I have now
There Is A Lesson Here? I Was Not Paying Attention
Without getting too upset for a period of time, or to an emotional extent, that is unproductive, I will just say that there are times that I have to just ignore the things around me and press on
We all have moments when we do this, but the truth is, I tend to do this to the point of blindness
My ability to shut the world out and stay focused on a task is pretty strong, but it goes so far as to remove my ability to see the prize I am working towards as any type of reward or inspiration–I typically just push ahead without much thought
Sounds totally non-depressing right?
Just push ahead, no matter how unhappy you are; be quiet and keep moving forward
Don’t listen to your feelings, just keep going
Some Things Are Not Meant To Be Ignored
Sure, ignore your body’s bemoaning when running an extra lap or doing an extra set, as we will enjoy the results afterwards–this type of pain is good to ignore since it brings clear benefits later
But wow, think about all the things we do in life that are incredibly painful that don’t produce dividends of any kind in the end, and some don’t even bother with the illusion of being beneficial
That is pretty much how I feel about my job right now
The company we are working with is on its last legs, but being forcibly managed by people who have a proven track record of failure, personal vendettas, and who continuously rise to shocking levels of incompetence with every opportunity
I get called stupid and lazy all the time by people who have no ability to tie their own shoes let alone judge the quality, or amount of work, I do in a day. To put this in perspective, I work 18 hour days typically, so it is rare that I feel overwhelmed with compassion when someone’s incompetence or lack of work ethic makes my life harder emotionally or physically in some way
So why am I there?
If Not For Friends…
One of my best friends is the CEO of the company that I work for, and despite partnering with a company that may go bankrupt in a few months due to their poor decisions, I have stayed and been faithful every step of the way
I have turned down other jobs, chosen to spend time away from Amy to work, and have lived in hotels for the last year of my life, all of which have been crazy or painful things, because I believed in the company’s idea and my friend’s ability to guide us there
So now, and things will not be known as clear successes or disasters for a few more months, I am sitting tight to see what happens
Meh!
In the end, none of this really matters, as I am sitting up right now at 1am, about to go skate for a bit to clear my mind before passing out, and hopefully wake up not as jaded or tired as I feel now, and be ready to get punched in the crotch and face repeatedly again tomorrow!
The good news, is that I am really inspired by the new direction that this site is going to take over the next few weeks as I know that God is bigger than anything I could ever possibly imagine on this earth
Thank you God, for being more than what I can comprehend or rejoice over
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