What Not To Do

Judgmental Christians are the worst kind of hypocrites

The power of sin is so strong it was only broken by God sacrificing a piece of himself to overcome it–no other power could defeat sin and death! So why do Christians gossip and look down on one another as they struggle against things only God himself has the power to overcome? Are we so perfect?

Everybody Sins, But Not Everyone Has The Courage To Openly Discuss Their Weaknesses

Okay, everybody, raise your hand if you are free from all sin and temptation!


Right, that is what I thought!

No one is free from sin, this is a simple fact of our existence

1 John 1:8
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us

Regardless of what we are tempted by, how reluctant we are to admit it, or what anyone tries to tell us, we willingly choose to sin because something about it is appealing to us

James 1:14
But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed

Even though this point can sometimes be difficult to accept, being able to acknowledge the reality of even our darkest inclinations, as well as be able to share them with God, and those whom we trust without shame or fear of condemnation, is one of the most beautiful parts about Christianity–it is both a gift and command from God!

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness

However, to be completely blunt, this amazing, loving way of interacting with one another by sharing our struggles is almost totally absent within Christianity today

But why is that?

The answer is simple: people are afraid of facing judgment and condemnation, which is only born of the enemy, not the love of God

What If God Looked Down On Us For Our Sin And Did Not Show Mercy?

Does God look down on us when we offer things up to him with humility, and a sincere heart filled with a desire to change?

Of course not!

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you

So why would we, a people who claim to know, and love God, not share his same burning, passionate desire to see everyone around us set free, without showing a hint of judgment over even the most heinous sins?

Instead, it is common that we gossip and look down on one another in judgment as if we are so perfect ourselves–what part of God’s personality are we reflecting when we act this way?


Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven

However, it needs to be made very clear that we are supposed to approach one another when we see active, continuous sin taking place in the lives of other Christians, but this should be done with love, and respect–modeling after God’s own character, which allows us to avoid the trap of being judgmental

Galatians 6:1
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted

1 Corinthians 5:12
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?

Also, note that in the scripture above, the word “judge” does not mean condemn, in Greek the word is “krino”, which means to review or scrutinize with the intent of objectively determining right from wrong, not club people in the head with religious, unloving condemnation

We Expect God To Forgive Us, So Why Would We Not Want The Same Forgiveness To Be Shown To Others?

Remember that Jesus came to heal the sick, not the well, just as we were, and often still are, filled with hurts and sicknesses that need God’s healing

Luke 5:31-32
Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance”

When we judge and condemn others for their spiritual and emotional illnesses, we are literally making a statement that we think they do not deserve God’s healing or forgiveness

Romans 2:1-4
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?

Now wait a minute, let’s really think about that (and read the scripture above in full if you did not!)

Can you imagine standing in front of God’s throne and answering for why we condemned, or gossiped about, people for their sins after we expected so much unconditional forgiveness from God during our lives?

What would that say about our character?

Just writing that convicts me, I cannot fathom what the horror of answering to God on this would feel like

“Uh, yeah, well, I just thought that what they did was really bad. What? No, actually, I did not pray for them when I knew they were struggling”

I do not even want to think about it, but it is a scenario many people will face as the result of judging and condemning their fellow Christians

Romans 14:10
You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat

Would you honestly want anyone to stand before God and be judged for anything, knowing full well it might be the very thing that causes them to go to hell?

Would you want anyone to feel that way about you?

Luke 6:31
Do to others as you would have them do to you

Those Who Show The Most Compassion And Love For Others Are Truly Forgiven

As a display of gratitude for the gift of forgiveness and mercy we have been shown, our lives should radiate the joy of what God has forgiven us for, and we should be inspired to bring all people to the same place of freedom and a clear conscience

Hebrews 10:22
…let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water

Jesus rebuked people for looking down on those who truly turned away from their sinful lives, as God does not want anyone to die because of sin

We can see this clearly when Jesus forgave the prostitute who came and washed his feet with her hair (how many people can say they seek God’s forgiveness with such humility?)

2 Peter 3:9
He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance

Luke 7:36-47
Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them

When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner”

Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you”

“Tell me, teacher,” he said

“Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled”

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said

Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little”


This shows that not only is judging one another an awful thing, but doing so reflects how little forgiveness we have truly laid hold of in our lives

Do not confuse claiming forgiveness with actually walking in it, as that is the difference between simply being religious vs. spiritual, dead vs. alive

I mean come on, as if we ever did anything to earn God’s forgiveness or love in the first place, we should be filled with gratitude and humility over receiving such an amazing gift!

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us

Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast

Humility And Gratitude Are The Keys To Being Non-Judgmental

The next time you find yourself thinking negatively about someone because of their stumbles or challenges, even if they are committing them against you, do not waste time on anger or feelings of condemnation, just pray for them with sincere love, and remember the things God has forgiven you for

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you

However, if something needs to be worked out between you and someone else, be fearless, but filled with love, and seek to repair what can be mended, remembering that the enemy does everything they can to create discord among us

Ephesians 4:3
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace

But, also be prepared to take action against those who do not truly seek to live according to God’s life giving truth–we must be able to separate condemning others from the act of inspiring godly conviction which leads to salvation

Matthew 18:15-17
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector

2 Corinthians 7:10
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death

1 John 1:5-7
God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin

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  • I love your article man, it is very true. We are talking about this subject in a men’s fellowship group. How we are sometimes lovers of the law and therefore so fast to judge other Christians or non-Christians. Forgetting the most important thing: That a lot of us used to do the same things but it was through the grace Jesus Christ we were set free. I personally therefore think that when we judge people we do not fully understand Christ’s grace.

    • Hi Daan,

      Thank you so much for the feedback!

      Being judgmental and condemning towards one another can be a tremendous barrier to vulnerability and openness when it comes to battling sin–non-judgmental accountability is such an important part of being in the body of Christ

      What we overcome, and are in the process of overcoming, is God’s glory as Jesus died to set us free live as the light of the world, which means we should be unafraid of living out-loud!

      God bless you!

  • As being a teenager, I have to face the one of the most judgemental(sp) places. DUN DUN DUN, high school. Everyone judges everyone, just because they’re bored. They have nothing else to do, or to say. As this is happening, I’m trying to fight it because why would I judge someone for what they have, or how they look if I don’t want to be judged the same way.

    Matthew 7:1-3  1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

    • Hi Ashley,

      Your message made me laugh (DUN DUN DUN!!!)

      High school was a really weird time for me, as once I realized I did not “fit in” with the various cliques and social circles, I just formed my own but still felt alienated because I did not want to wear a “uniform”, listen to the right music, etc… to fit in with anyone

      I agree that looking at what people wear, have, etc… is totally pointless, as these things should never be used as the foundation of how we see others, although in a lot of cases they mean a great deal in the eyes of others

      Matthew 6:25</strong
      Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

      Matthew 6:28-30
      And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith

      Regarding the verse that you quoted, check out this article that touches on the difference between “judging” (objective evaluation), and “condemning” (forming a negative opinion) about people


      Let me know what you think!

  • Hey Nate kD  God bless you, i love your artticles their great, i pray God continues to work in u and bless you ! 😀 my question is me being annoyed by someone Judging ? should i forgive that person or ask for forgiveness or maybe both ? i hate feeling this way, should i approach this person and tell them y i feel upset at them sometimes in compassionate way? 😮

    • Hi Valerie,

      You are so kind, thank you!

      If you feel that someone is “annoying” you, it is important to keep a couple of points in mind:

      1) Do not wait for them to apologize or stop their behavior in order to forgive them, let any negative emotions or thoughts go as quickly as possible. This point is exceptionally important as people often “wait” until someone apologizes or stops doing whatever it is before forgiving, but this is probably the most common way people hold onto unforgiveness, ie: they are afraid to be hurt/upset again so they protect themselves by keeping walls up instead. It is usually obvious when we are doing this because we feel like we do not want to see the other person or get “annoyed” when they are around–sometimes just thinking about them makes us upset

      2) Being upset with someone based on how they treat us is not always a bad thing, as some situations are worth being upset over, but we have to be very careful in how we choose to respond, taking care not to lash out, hold a grudge, etc… When we are hurt, it is very easy for us to look down on people or think poorly of them, but this is really just a defense mechanism we use to try and protect ourselves from being hurt again, ie: maintain that they are a bad person so we feel justified in our negative emotions about them

      3) Depending on the nature of the relationship, it may or may not be a good idea to approach the other person, as not everyone is going to be receptive to a conversation about things they are doing to hurt us, that is why it is so important to acknowledge our hurt feelings, and forgive the other person on our own as quickly as possible rather than wait for some type of “let’s hug and make up” scenario which may never take place–we just have to use our best judgment and ask God how we should proceed

      I am not sure what the person you are describing has done, but if they are a Christian, you should go to them and tell them how you feel, but with complete love, compassion, respect, and humility–take care not to express your hurt feelings first, just open the dialog by objectively discussing your thoughts

      Ephesians 4:25
      Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body

      When we are expecting an apology or specific reaction, it is very common to walk into a conflict resolution situation and tell people how hurt/annoyed/angry we are first because that is usually what inspires us to talk to them in the first place

      Instead, we should try to understand why the person acts the way they do, and do our best to calmly explain what we see as the issue(s) between us, remembering that we have all annoyed/hurt/upset/etc… people around us at some point as we continue to grow

      Also, pray and ask God the reason why someone’s behavior is causing a constant reaction inside of you, and do not focus on the person, just focus on the dynamics of the situation otherwise it is too easy to take things personally and misdirect our emotions at the person rather than their behavior

      May I ask what this person did?

      • hey nate, thanks the last part was expecially helpful, i try to analyize more why i feel that, thankyou ! 🙂

        yes, u may lol well its actually two ppl lol

        one  a friend that i work with in projects for the church, i guess the reason sometimes i feel annoyed by this person is because he can be very pushy at times (i.e) when i was bearly becoming christian, i felt that i needed to let go of all music that wasn’t helping my relationship with God and sence it was really hard for me i let go of it, i would delete songs day by day and added christian songs to my ipod, i asked this person to put chistian music in my ipod and it really bugged that i felt like i was being scolded  he said “i had some explaining to do!” and i felt like he was pushing me to delete all my songs wich is fine, but i felt like that was something i should choose between me an God, and he was going through my voice notes and stuff which made me feel like he voilated my privacy, i told him it was fine if he deletes them but if he could please not approach the situation like that next time, but after that he brought this up infront our youth pastors, to make himself look good or something, idk,’how he helped me overcome this obstacle and stuff, i guess i feel that alot of times he wants to look good infront of people but when it comes to taking responsibility for his actions he, he doesnt.. but i have aproached him personally before and kindly talked to him, and praying that we both honor God in working together
        i feel like i’m not sure if i should let things like these go or talk to him about them in a kind way , u know ? 😛 i u notice anything unchristlike in my behavior feel free to let me know! lol you wont offend just help be a better christian ;D

        secon person is little sister lol i love her! and can actually be very protective over her <3 we share a room and she can be very stubborn, and has anger issues lol i know were it come from so i try to be understanding, sence me and me little sister are the only xn in our fam, i remind her that forgiveness sets her free! but she tends to hold grudges ( mad at parents), and it seem like we fight on a daily bases and i always try to compromise and be understanding, and i forgive her and try to put things in the past but i feel like i'm beginning to feel like a doormat, sence she doesnt seem to learn or take resposiblity for her actions, I realy hate fighting (anger), I'm not a fighter shes prob the only one the can really get me mad, but i want to be a goodsister, and help her get closer to God, i gues i'm not sure how to help her or solve this, i dnt want this to be a routine, i want us both to be close toGod, i dnt like getting angry sence i know i grieves the holyspirit, and i want to honor God

        sry for writing alot nate lol

        • Hi Valerie,

          Thank you for writing with so much detail!

          The situation with the person in your church sounds like it could be tough, as from what you are saying they are focused on outward appearances and “rules”, but how did they respond when you spoke to them about past difficulties?

          Did they take your feedback gracefully and make adjustments or were they not receptive?

          It sounds like you addressed the issues openly, so it is important to know how they responded as that says a lot about where their heart is at, more so than how they act outwardly–it is great you spoke up politely!

          Sometimes people act in ways you are describing because they feel it is the best way to handle a situation, but good intentions do not always equal good implementation, as it is not hard for people to feel like they are being pushed around to “do things” or follow rules when they are new Christians

          If you feel there are things still unsaid or new issues, we should always feel free to openly express our thoughts to one another in love and with the intent of making peace, though there are times when people’s personalities are just not going to change, and we should be able to identify that as well, taking care to not have pointless conversations as long as we are able to overlook whatever it is that made us upset–do not let things fester

          Proverbs 19:11
          A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense

          Sometimes, it can be very helpful to talk about our feelings of difficulty with people from a place of vulnerability and humility, as, if received and spoken right, it can give others a perspective they may not have had and can lead to repair. This is almost always more effective than going to someone and saying “hey, you hurt me!”, as saying “this type of behavior causes difficulty for me to work together as I start to feel judged, etc… and it starts to take over my thoughts more than it should”

          Starting the conversation from a place where they see their efforts are having a negative impact on your Christian walk can be effective, but just make sure to be as gentle as possible so they do not feel condemned in any way

          Regarding your sister, that is amazing that the two of you are the only Christians in your household, how did you come to know Jesus? Have you talked about God with your family, I assume you must have, I am just curious to know about the dynamics there

          What do you and your sister tend to fight over specifically? It can be very easy to have frustration towards our parents carry over into other relationships, especially ones with our brothers and sisters; what are you forgiving that makes you feel like a doormat? Also, what is the age difference between the two of you, can you have mature conversations yet, you are very well spoken and can articulate your thoughts/feelings well, so hopefully this is something she can do as well?

          • hey nate 🙂

            well with my friend i feel like things are improving, he’s of to school so maybe some time away may be good for our friendship , he left early this week. 🙂  i guess sometimes from his perspective what hes doing sometimes isnt wrong but i  feel like hes slowly improving, he has had different reactions sometimes pretends nothting happened, upset, mad, or ok, i guess its hard for him do admit hes wrong but i think he does these things bc he lacks social skills and sometimes doesnt read ppl well, so sometimes they feel uncomfy, hes improving though, and i’m praying school helps him develop those skills to 😉 and that i recognize if i’m doing anything to 😀

             i like that verse! 🙂

            yeah i guess our communication needs improvement my family tends to not deal with emotional problems well, my brother and dad seem to bottle up everything and my sister and mom are implosive, so they get mad quick.

            me and my sister tend to fight about christian stuff i.e her going to church, going for right reasons, the type things she watches or hears at times. Also chores, things, her language or atitude, oh and how she treats mom.i guess i’ve always been the one holding my fam together and sometimes i feel like i’m everyones mom but my pastors told me all i need to do is be a good daughter and sister. So i get upset when my parents don’t disicpline her, and sometimes i feel like i need to take that role but then i remember I’m her sister. i feel like a doormat when she gets me mad, i forgive without her without her apologizing, and she just keeps on doing it, i feel like its a cycle 😛 sometimes she slams the door, cuses at me, or sometimes i”m sharing the gospel with a friend or family member and she makes a rude comment like “gosh valerie cant u stop talking about God already its annoying” or something, i get mad, i’m human but i never cus at her or purposly embarass her infont of ppl, but when she does that i get an attitude, i go on defense mode, or i gnore it, so i’m trying to improve on my behavior as i recognize it. I just turned 19 and shes 12 lol its hard for her not to let her emotions take control, so it can be very hard to talk to her. I want us to get better i notice she tells me she hates me and stuff sometime but everytime i’m not home she wants me to come and sence i want to dorm once i transer, when i mention it she starts crying, its a love/hate thing for her lol I’m just wnat he r to heal by forgiving but shes so stuborn, i don’t want it getting worse as she gets older.

            oh and well, i guess it all started my jr year, i has alot planned for that year, i got A.P classes, i made varsity volley ball captian, and i got a boyfriend (christian) at the end of the year my heart was broken, my parents were going through divorce,i was stessed, and remembered that one time i went to church with my ex, he was a lukewarm christian… cough cough lol still pray he gets right with God though lol i broke down and asked God that if he he was real to show me the path to him, so one day i was coming home from a pool party at night walking with friends i really needed to use the restrrom and it just so happens a church was open, they invited me to stay the last few minutes, they introduced me to a youth leader and she invited me to bible study, i took it as a sign, and have been in that church for almost two years 🙂 and i invited my little sis and she went, i’ve told all my family, but sence they got mad when i told them, it has taken me a while to warm them up to going. recently i managed to get my bro and mom to go, I just need to keep praying for them 🙂

          • Hi Valerie,

            Sorry for the delay in getting back, I am not sure if you heard, but I was mugged last week, and my jaw got broken in a couple places. I spent time in the hospital and got it operated on, but I am back home and feeling much better

            Your salvation story is really amazing, it is incredible to hear when God works so openly in people’s lives; he loves us so much

            Your family situation sounds a little bit rough, but you seem to have a good, clear perspective about it

            When your parents were upset over you becoming a Christian, did they say why, that is great your brother and mother are going to church!

            The discussions with your sister sound like typical big sister/little sister things, but one thing that I would say, is that if she feels like you talk about God too much, it shows she is not in the same place you are in regards to your enthusiasm and relationship with God

            Sometimes dealing with even the most stubborn people can be a challenge, and sometimes people will just be difficult regardless of our effort (just stay positive!), especially if they have parental examples of explosive tempers, etc…, just do not take it personal

            Are you concerned your sister will be okay once you leave, it sounds like you a very positive influence on her life, will you two be attending the same church if you live in a dorm?

          • Nate ! no worries  🙂 wow 😮 glad to here your doing good x) just curious did u learn anything from that expierence ?:)

            Thankyou ! those are encouarging words xD

            and yes i am 😮 I feel like i’m the one that kinda keeps her stable but I’m still planning on visiting:) I’m planning on transferring to Biola! xD its not tooo far from were i live 🙂

            I pray i still do (hope i have time), their like my family and and i want to continue growing with them, plus God seems to be doing great things in our church and district, alot of rivival, so i want to be part of it, but we’ll see, i also want go on a missionary trip ! xD 😀

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