Personal Blog

New churches can be… weird

I went to a new church tonight for their Saturday worship service and it was weird, like really weird

Without sending like a total pessimist, I generally don’t enjoy a lot of church services as the music is rarely inspired by God or played as a true act of worship, and the sermons are usually so boring and dull I am not surprised that a lot of Christians are hungry for more as they are being fed spiritual milk, not solid food

Churches can be amazing places to fellowship and encourage one another, but I have always struggled to find a church that I truly feel like I grow in

Part of it is that I feel like I have no human mentors, which I was reminded of tonight when I advised Amy and one of her friends they needed to find some mature, Christian women to hang around with

Throughout my life I have been close to God, and I mostly learned the things that I did from my mom and directly from God himself, but I think having contemporaries or a mentor would probably be pretty cool

One thing God spoke to me about tonight was that people generally do not understand what it means to regard him as holy, and it keeps them from respecting and knowing him intimately

Not that I am so high and mighty, but I feel like within the last six months or so, I am finally “getting” my relationship with God to the point where it is the number one thing in my life, and I value God over everything else–to the point where most sin is not even a remote temptation, which is really saying something given where I have come from in life

Out of everyone, I was the last person to regard God as holy as I struggled with a wide variety of things, but I mainly just didn’t regard God as one to be feared, even though he is the same God who struck people dead by the thousands just for complaining that they didn’t have the food they wanted

I learned that it is possible to care for God, and even call it “love”, without ever fearing or respecting him as holy, which usually translates into: God is totally awesome, but I am not going to dramatically change my life for him

My goal now is to truly honor him with all that I can, ie: with my time, money, thoughts, and everything in between

Also, as I feel like I am at a point where I am finally not succumbing to willful sins anymore, it is quite a place to be in after decades of uphill battles (mainly due to my own incredible stubbornness!), and I understand what it means, at least more anyways, to not just call God holy, but to live that way

Luke 9:62
Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God”

God is awesome!

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  • Hi Nathan…I must say that I really enjoy reading all of your blogs. I’m a “new” christian as of July 2012…what I mean by that is I fell away from God during most of my youth, especially after my mother passed away. I felt like it wasn’t fair that someone so close, that meant so much to me had to be taken away…but now I understand. Sometimes things happen to teach us things, to help bring us back to Him and to draw us closer as a result. I have battled daily with this up until I decided that there was something missing in my life..and I decided to give God another chance. After all, He did create us, didn’t he? 🙂
    I find comfort in knowing that others struggle with their walk with God as well, because it has been very hard for me to turn everything around…and of course I still have a very long way to go, but I am trying. I have backslid since being saved, but I want to re-dedicate my life to God and I would like to honor Him in every way that I see possible.
    I just wanted to write and let you know that I really enjoy your blog and that it helps me every time I get the chance to read it.

    May God bless you in everything that you do!

    • Hi Andrew,

      Thank you for saying hello, I am glad you have re-committed yourself to seeking God!

      I went through a period of backsliding which lasted about ten years, it was such a relief to stop, yikes!

      Many things happen in life we do not understand or see value in, though God’s peace renders our anxiety powerless, we just have to surrender to him, which is not always easy, but it is the most fulfilling thing imaginable

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